She pressed on, pointing out that to her eyes and ears, I was already 98% the person I claimed to want to be.  What was missing, she argued, was a very small piece.  She’s mad indeed, I thought again.  Why I’m listening to her at all is a mystery…

I recently had a similar conversation, though on the other side of the ledger, as somebody made the sweeping statement that she needed a full out radical change of course in her life.  The earlier madness that came my way must have been contagious, because I reflexively thought, no, what you need to do is change yourself by about two percent.  And I went on to make the same case that was made to me some time earlier.

Yes, two percent is the magic number, I decided.  Change the self by two percent, change course by two degrees, increase your savings by two percent and watch that interest compound.  It’s the small things in life that add up.  Two percent it is.

But as I rode home on the subway today I was struck with another thought.  Scientists and eight graders are fond of pointing out that the genetic difference between man and ape is roughly in the two percent range.  If that’s the case, then this whole “change myself by two percent” is a wild over-estimation.  If two percent represents the difference between hurling feces and putting a man on the moon, then I’m thinking I need to change myself by about .00001 percent.

And I think I can manage that.

For the Mineralava Musings, this is Edoardo Ballerini.

I’m glad to be busy, but there’s a downside to all this activity, namely that you burn out quickly.  I have never in my life wanted to do so much, and done so much, and I have never in my life been so tired to the bone.  I’m going with the “sleep when you’re dead” philosophy, but it’s dawning on me that I could, in fact, be hastening my demise with too many 21 hour days and seven day weeks.

A couple of years ago I was standing curbside at an airport and a guy recognized me.  It happens from time to time.  We chatted for a second and he asked me if I was waiting for a limo.  It took me a second to understand he wasn’t kidding.  There’s an assumption amongst many that if you’ve appeared on television more than five times you must be rich and pampered, when nothing could be further from the truth.

I wouldn’t trade my life for anything, I am blessed, but it’s not always easy.  Beyond the psychological taxation of rejection and disappointment and loneliness, there’s a physical toll being taken on my body this winter that I was not quite expecting.  Between filming and classes and rehearsals and meetings and events and auditions and seeing theater, there are trains to take and blocks to walk into the wind.  And every so often I want to crash.  Hard.

Tomorrow it starts anew.  There’s a lesson in here about pacing and self-care.  I’m not sure what it is yet, but thankfully I’ll have some time on the 2/3 line to figure it out…

For the Mineralava Musings, this is Edoardo Ballerini.

Wow.

These are just a few examples.  Click for larger views.