Edoardo Ballerini

As I rode on my eleventh subway of the day last week, or perhaps it my third cab, it occurred to me that I had little comprehension of where I’d been or where I was going.  My bag was strapped to my back, heavy with books, water, an umbrella, a mini dop kit, a shirt or two, maybe some socks, who knows, and I was going over some lines in my head for a rehearsal, or maybe I was humming a vocal exercise, no, I was making notes for a blog entry, anyway, I was hungry and couldn’t remember if I’d eaten, or how old that power bar in my bag was, or if the Q train stopped at 23rd St.  This is typical.

I’m glad to be busy, but there’s a downside to all this activity, namely that you burn out quickly.  I have never in my life wanted to do so much, and done so much, and I have never in my life been so tired to the bone.  I’m going with the “sleep when you’re dead” philosophy, but it’s dawning on me that I could, in fact, be hastening my demise with too many 21 hour days and seven day weeks.

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How a room was assembled in which most people knew me is still a source of amazement, but the other night I went out and found just that.  It reminded me of days past on the festival circuit when people went out of their way to flatter me and I got good at idle chatter, and holding my liquor.

But a few hours into the night I was drained.  Perhaps I’m just out of practice, or perhaps it was the result of not having really stopped since January 1st, but my legs felt like lead, so I perched on a stool next to some aging chicken satay and looked around the room, catching my breath. Read more…

I had the pleasure and privilege of being in a scripted piece for the New York Times.  Directed by Poppy de Villeneuve, there are five shorts in total, all set in Central Park.  They are set to begin “airing” on Febuary 1st one per week.  Mine is the 5th of 5, so I’m guessing it will be available on March 1st.

Click here to see the trailer.

My freshman year at Wesleyan a friend told me that I was not the type of person to ask, “What’s for lunch?” but rather, “What is lunch?”  I took it as a compliment.  Though I’ve never been referred to as a genius, I’ve always aspired to use my brain whenever appropriate, and the meaning of lunch is as worthy a topic as any other.

Today I went back to class for the first time in a quite a while.  In a stinging twist of irony it was held in the same room where I first studied acting.  The musty scent of old furniture and well-worn set pieces filled the air, and tears came to my eyes.  I was transported back in time, filled with remembrances of a clueless young man who nevertheless knew that he wanted to inhabit this strange world of props and cues and was willing to scrape nickels together in order to do so. Read more…

I’ll be filming a guest spot on USA’s “White Collar” this week here in New York.  My friend Willie Garson is in it, which makes it doubly fun, though I don’t know that we’ll have any scenes together.

Anyway, I confess that I’ve yet to see a full episode of the show, but I’ll watch a few episodes today and get up to speed.  There’s little more embarrassing, or inconsiderate, than arriving on set not knowing who anybody is, or what the tone of a show is.  On the set of my first job, an episode of “Law & Order,” I barely knew anything, and I ended up asking some pretty dumb questions.

My only concern is that the lead actor’s eyes might actually be the color they’re claiming they are in the poster and that I’ll end up being blinded…

As I sat in the lobby of New York’s Public Theater I noticed two people laughing.  It was my good fortune to have been to the Public twice in one week, and I recalled that on my previous visit, then, too, people were laughing.  And I thought, “The lobby of the Public Theater is a remarkably happy place.”  It was so strong a feeling that I wanted to share it.  I reached for my phone to call someone.  But as I slipped my hand into my pocket a woman shrieked, and I was distracted. Read more…

Two things.  One, I spend a lot of time on subways.  Two, I believe in “choice of focus.”  Anything can be looked at from more than one angle, and we make choices in what we choose to focus on.  So as I drifted along one day, deep underground, and I felt frustration set in at being in some dingy metal can for the fifth time in five hours, I put my own belief to the test.  What could be good about this?  What am I not seeing that’s right in front of me?

Wow.

These are just a few examples.  Click for larger views.

Listen to full episode: “The Loneliness of the Long Distance Actor”

A typical day for me can look something like this: wake up, meditate, write in my journal, go to the gym, morning meeting/audition, lunch… somewhere, maybe with a friend, find a spot to perch for an hour or so, often the library, then maybe a class or another meeting, find another spot to perch, do some kind of acting related thing like go to the Drama Bookshop or meet a photographer, and finally an event or evening of theatre before heading home.  In between there are a lot of subways and walks.  And I do it all alone, the great irony being that I went into acting, in part, because I thought it would be a collaborative thing to do, filled with a lot of people and interactions and goofing around with cute girls.  But the truth of it is that it’s a very solitary affair. Read more…