In the last week I’ve gotten more than one comment on my musings about how people miss the “sarcastic” entries. And while it’s nice to know that people are reading these things, I’d never really thought of them as being sarcastic, though I suppose many of them were, which puts me in the awkward position of feeling like I should apologize for not being more sarcastic, as if that were a merit. But given that we collectively praise people whose sole accomplishment is making the world a playground of inequity, pain and ridicule, I suppose by that measuring stick it could be. Read more…
If “The Popeye Syndrome” hasn’t been coined as a phrase yet, it should be. At very least it could be a terrible title for a film that nobody would know what it’s about. But that’s something else entirely. Anyway, I’ve been surrounded by the Popeye Syndrome lately, and it goes something like this: people resign themselves to their behavior using the logic, “I am what I am” (or as Popeye would say, “I yam what I yam.”). I’ve fallen into the trappings of the Popeye Syndrome many times. It’s seductive. All you have to do is what you already know how to do. No learning required. Just sit back, eats you spinach, punch out Bluto, save Olive Oil, rinse and repeat. And voila! You is what you is. I think Popeye got his catch phrase from Aristotle’s treatise on the nature of things but he skipped a few pages towards the end. Probably exhausted from all that brawling, poor guy. Yes, it is the nature of an acorn to become an oak, and for fire to burn upwards, but the acorn-to-oak and fire are, in point of fact, in a constant state of change. They isn’t what they is. If you don’t believe that change is happening, I suggest you take an apple, leave it out for three weeks, then eat it. Read more…
Listen to full episode: “The Loneliness of the Long Distance Actor”
A typical day for me can look something like this: wake up, meditate, write in my journal, go to the gym, morning meeting/audition, lunch… somewhere, maybe with a friend, find a spot to perch for an hour or so, often the library, then maybe a class or another meeting, find another spot to perch, do some kind of acting related thing like go to the Drama Bookshop or meet a photographer, and finally an event or evening of theatre before heading home. In between there are a lot of subways and walks. And I do it all alone, the great irony being that I went into acting, in part, because I thought it would be a collaborative thing to do, filled with a lot of people and interactions and goofing around with cute girls. But the truth of it is that it’s a very solitary affair. Read more…
Listen to full episode: “Self-Help”
I was at an audition yesterday, slinking around the waiting area, as you do. There was a group of older women there, as well as a few of us scattered males. The women looked to be in their 50s, and all were very beautiful. They were clearly models, the type of women that caused traffic accidents in their 20s but now go largely ignored because their hair is gray and they have wrinkles around the eyes, which is a shame. Not that they should still be causing accidents, but that we don’t prize beauty beyond the age of 30. At any rate, I was perfectly content to stay in that room for a few minutes and enjoy the scenery, though I was dismayed to see that nearly all of these women were doing little more than gossiping and chatting with each other. Once a model, always a model, I suppose. But across from me there was this one, lone woman reading a book. A book of the “self-help” variety, something with a title like, “Racing to Catch Up,” which most of her compatriots would surely ridicule, if they could in fact read the title. Read more…
Listen to full episode: “Let It Be”
Once again it seems my spiritual practice is dovetailing with my professional life. I study meditation. That may sound strange. What is there to study? You just sit there and do nothing, right? It’s a little more complicated than that. At any rate, I do study, and I have a wonderful teacher, who last week raised the distinction between “letting go” and “letting be.” It’s subtle, but important. “Letting go” can often lead to further frustration, if, in fact, the thing in question – anger, fear, resentment, whatever it is – isn’t let go of. Now you’re stuck with the original thorn in your side, only it has been twisted. “Letting be,” on the other hand asks only that you accept that the anger, fear, resentment is allowed to exist. That’s all. It just… is. I’m frustrated, I’m angry, I’m afraid. So be it. It’s just a feeling. It will work it’s way off on its own, as you simply observe it. In fact, you might even try to befriend it. Stop me if I’m moving to fast. But try it. You’ll see.
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